HOW I SEE IT...BY MARK PINSKI

THE SHARK CAN STILL BITE

I can certainly appreciate how Greg Norman feels. I was playing the par-4, 312 yard 16th hole at Hawk's View in Lake Geneva, WI, last Friday, when I pulled my approach shot pin high into the deep rough, leading to a blind shot to the green. I would need an up and down to keep my match against Bernie Glickstein alive.

The hard part would be finding my ball in the tall grass. I spotted a Titleist, but I can't afford those balls, so I knew it was not mine. Sure enough, I came across a Top Flight. It was mine. But I had no idea where the green was. Thinking Chris Evert was in the gallery, I lofted a sand wedge up in the air. My third shot found the green, but I had a 50-foot, downhill putt remaining for par.

I'm thinking if I can three-putt this, I'll get a six. As I stood over the putt, I thought about Padraig Harrington's wife in the gallery. My mind began to drift. Larry David and Jeff Garlin popped in. So did Rick Rhoden's wife and Charles Barkley. My last thought before I attempted the 50-foot putt was, did I remember to pack toilet paper?

After my remarkable 50-foot putt found the bottom of the cup, I began to think about Greg Norman. For just one moment, I could relate to Greg Norman.

ABC's coverage of the 137th British Open Championship lacked a Tiger, but there was a Shark. There was no Woods, but we did discover a Wood (Chris).

Overall, let's give ABC a birdie. Here's how their scorecard looks:

Birdie...Tom Watson...A good addition to the telecast.

Bogey...ABC/ESPN...Sure they added Watson, but they should have hired the hottest sportscaster this decade...she just landed the biggest exclusive interview of all-time...that's right, Appleton, Wisconsin's own Greta Van Susteren should have been on the record and on the air...afterall, this was a major.

Birdie...IBM Golf Trak...The aerial footage is very helpful.

Bogey...Camera work...Too many times we're left guessing where the ball is.

Birdie...Paul Azinger...He's not in Johnny Miller's league, but Azinger gives us a pro's perspective and he has a good sense of humor.

Birdie...Mike Tirico...He adds to the drama by having the ability to build story lines...ended the tournament in style, by saying, "And Irish eyes are smiling again at the Open Championship," after Harrington tapped in to capture back-to-back Open wins.

Bogey...ABC/ESPN...We needed to see more of Chris Evert on Sunday...now that she has Greg Norman playing like he was 30 years old again, Evert should open up a business... her first clients would be David Duval, John Daly, and Chip Beck.

Bogey...ABC/ESPN...The wipes between shots with the white flag got annoying after a while.

Double Bogey...Rick Reilly...Now I can understand why he was a writer and not a sportscaster.

Double Bogey...Ian Poulter...Why did he wear Paula Creamer's pants on Sunday?

Birdie...Video of cameraman who fell while walking in front of Norman on Saturday.

SHE GONE

After playing her third round at the LPGA State Farm Classic, Michelle Wie was disqualified for not signing her second round scorecard Friday before leaving the scoring area. Wie was in second place after both the second and third rounds.

A top-two finish would have meant a spot on the LPGA tour next year. Had Wie gone on to win the tournament in Springfield, IL, she could have taken home $255,000.

This brings up the argument, do colleges, like Stanford, really prepare people for the real world. Stanford offers programs such as aeronautics, geophysics, and cellular physiology, but they don't have any courses called Scorecard Signing 101.

(I can appreciate the cell phone physiology class. I should take a course on that so I can text people better.)

I remember taking classes like Nature of Art and Astrology, but Denver U. should have offered courses like How to Avoid Identity Theft, How to Avoid Potholes, and How to Avoid Computer Viruses. These are the issues we deal with on a daily basis.

Sure, we had a Health class in 8th grade. But today, I'd rather get the flu than have my computer get a virus. When I get sick, I save money because I spend less on food. When my computer gets a virus, it costs $100 to have some geek fix it.

GO FLY A KITE

During Saturday's coverage of the Champions Tour 3M Championship on The Golf Channel, Tom Kite shanked a 5-iron into a hazard, than told a cameraman to "get that (camera) out of my face, please."

Okay, he said please, but, don't blame the camera for your bad shot. In fact, being on television has helped Kite and a lot of other golfers become pretty wealthy.

OLYMPIC UPDATE

NBC announced their on-air line-up for the upcoming Olympics. Of the announcers, I have met Bob Costas and Doug Collins, talked to Dan Hicks on the telephone, interned with Craig Sager and his wife, and worked with Eric Collins and Jim Kozimor.

I remember when Collins was doing minor league baseball outside Chicago, and when Kozimor was calling minor league basketball in La Crosse, Wisconsin.

Collins will call basketball and baseball. Kozimor is doing badminton. Both have worked incredibly hard and deserve to be involved in this prestigious event that includes other outstanding journalists such as Costas, Hicks, Jim Lampley, Al Trautwig, Tom Hammond, Ted Robinson, Mike Breen, Tim Ryan, and Barry MacKay.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I heard the NFL has hired experts to study game films to make sure players aren't making gang sign gestures. I remember when players would wave to the camera and say, "Hi mom."

I don't think anyone stayed up all night to watch the MLB All-Star game. I do think a lot of people said they watched the whole game after they were late for work the next day.

I'll remember Billy Packer because he would always point out that a player must be tired because he was grabbing his pants. He always mentioned a tough catch. Packer never was a big fan of mid-majors. 34 years is a long time. I'll miss him, but, I'll enjoy Clark Kellogg more than I'll miss Billy Packer.

ABOUT MARK... Mr. Pinski grew up in a very tough neighborhood, Highland Park, Illinois. He had to share a bathroom, and did not get his first car until he was 16 years old. His career began at the age of 14, where he worked at McDonald’s. Mr. Pinski excelled at scooping French fries into paper bags. He did it all, including large and small fries, until being terminated for forging his birth certificate which claimed he was 16 years old. Mr. Pinski attended Denver University, where he got caught cheating on his Nature of Art final exam. He also went to Columbia College in Chicago and received an ‘F’ in his TV 101 course. Despite all of these early struggles, he has become a media megastar with his own sports TV/Radio column on staatalent.com, which proves you too can overcome tremendous obstacles and produce an article no one reads.