• Commentators telling us teams must avoid third-and-long situations and turnovers, as if they have unearthed ground-breaking material. (Yes, we're talking to you, Daryl Johnston.) Here's an idea: Let's all just assume avoiding third-and-long is a good idea unless somebody convinces us otherwise.

• ``SportsCenter is next'' flashing across ESPN when a game is running late. If you don't know SportsCenter is next, you don't deserve to have cable television.

• Counterfeit analysis. Too often, commentators make premature conclusions or broad generalizations. So we hear Cris Carter telling us he's ``sick and tired of people who have never played the position saying people off the street are going to come in and make an impact'' at receiver. A couple hours later, Michael Crabtree -- who waited until October to sign -- made an impact at receiver in his 49ers debut. We hear Trent Dilfer telling us after the Colts game that the Patriots defense would no longer trust Bill Belichick. New England's defense then played great against the Jets. And on and on.

• Hype from ESPN's Stuart Scott. Call him the Anchor That Cried Wolf. He says ``you won't want to miss'' the story that follows the commercial, or you ``won't believe what [insert random name] told our Ed Werder.'' The stories rarely live up to the hype.

• Forced laughter on NFL pregame shows. Usually, these guys are cracking up about 1) nothing worth laughing about; 2) some inside joke they haven't shared. And can't CBS and Fox make better use of the time given to worthless prediction segments?

• Use of the words ``mute point'' (it's moot, but too many ex-jocks don't know); ``positive yardage'' (``yardage'' would suffice); ``ball security issues'' (a fancy way of saying a guy fumbles a lot); ``walk-off homer'' (should a Dwyane Wade winner at the buzzer be renamed a ``walk-off jumper?''); and ``irregardless'' (Webster's says it's a word, but it doesn't deserve to be).

• Nicknames for announcers. So let's see -- Johnston is Moose, Tony Siragusa is Goose, Chris Berman and Boomer Esiason are ``Boom,'' Keyshawn Johnson is ``Key,'' Tom Jackson is ``T.J,'' and so on. Don't even think about calling them by their real names.

• Switching away from the field when it's unknown what team recovered a fumble, or whether a team plans to go for it on fourth down. In this situation, networks too often switch to shots of fans, players on the sideline or replays of the previous play. Let me repeat: Leave the cameras on the field until we know the officials' call, or whether the coach will go for it.

• Sideline reports and interviews that offer nothing substantive. On Christmas, ESPN's Doris Burke asked coach Mike D'Antoni to discuss the Knicks' offensive approach against the Heat. D'Antoni revealed the objective was to make more shots. Who knew? . . . On football, only use the sideline reporters if they have substantive news; otherwise, don't waste our time.

• Networks asking us to answer some silly poll question on their website or via text message. Sorry, but I'll never understand why anybody would stop watching to rush to a computer to vote on ``Which Western Conference NBA team is most likely to narrowly miss the playoffs?'' And tell ESPN2 to stop posting viewer text messages on Tuesday night college games. Can't these people send messages directly to each other and stop annoying us?