But I do listen to it when I'm behind the wheel, almost to the exclusion of anything else.

And, yes. I do talk back.

I love and hate sports talkers with equal passion, sometimes feeling both emotions for the same fellow at nearly the same time.

That's not inconsistent, because sports-talk radio is both the best and the worst thing to happen to the business of games in the last 20 years.

When the focus is on the same few topics 24/7, things are bound to go beyond all proportion, and the travails of the Cubs and Bears can begin to feel like the weight of the world.

On the other hand, what is a better distraction than talk about sports in an age where the real-world issues so often are so genuinely depressing?

In these parts, static-free sports talk typically can be found at 670 on your AM dial, otherwise known as WSCR in Chicago, or at 1230 AM, the locally transmitted but nationally populated WXFN.

On a good day, at a good hour, you can get ESPN 1000 out of Chicago without too much static.

All three stations have their pluses and minuses, kind of like anything else, including your local sports page.

Here's one man's observations of some of the local sports-talk menu:

* More than anything, I miss the witty and generally relevant Tony Kornheiser, who was yanked off WFXN's morning feed by the national ESPN network about three years ago.

He was replaced by the bizarrely named Colin Cowherd, who I expected to hate, but don't.

He is generally interesting, typically informed and really knows his college football.

* Likewise, I was bothered when the loud-mouthed Petros Papadakis and his sidekick Matt "Money" Smith replaced Andrew Siciliano during the evenings on FXN.

That's not because Siciliano was particularly entertaining or compelling, but the 15-minute drives home always were made interesting by the sultry voice of sidekick Crystal Fernandez. And, yes, I know that's pathetic.

But, here's the thing. I hated Petros for about 5 minutes. Then, he got me laughing, and I haven't stopped since.

Unlike most guys behind a sports talk mic, the guy doesn't take himself or his gig too seriously. He's a gas.

- Particularly entertaining are the Petros and Money weekly visits with Sports Illustrated baseball expert Jon Heyman, an old cohort of mine a couple of decades ago in Moline.

- Likewise, I am proud that a pair of sports writers with whom I have a passing familiarity have assumed the coveted drive-time slot at WSCR.

And the best part is they pushed the stone-headed, mush-mouthed caveman Mike North off the air.

Mully and Hanley have done well because they respect their listeners, and because they also avoid taking themselves too seriously.

- Which brings us to their polar opposite, the misanthropic and aptly named Terry Boers, a former sportswriter who years back was as entertaining a college football press-box presence as you could imagine.

That guy in the press box was a natural for the talk-radio format, but sadly Boers stopped being that guy a long time ago. Now, he simply is a bloated ego who's every utterance seems laced with anger and bile.

That's a shame, really, because his partner, Dan Bernstein, also is well-equipped for the sports-talk booth, with an encyclopedic intellect that only comes across as overbearing when he is feeding off of and echoing Boers' distaste for humankind.

- I could go on, but I'll just advise you that if you really want to hear sports talk drivel that will drive you crazy, listen to Dave and Darren's so-called sports expert around 9 Monday mornings on KBOB-FM 104.7.

Now, that guy ...