Courtesy Chicago Sun-Times

(March 11, 2009) The goal was for ESPN 1000 to help Hawthorne Race Course celebrate 100 years of Carey family ownership. Nothing wrong with that. But then two hosts of the station's ''Afternoon Saloon'' show agreed to act like jockeys and race thoroughbreds. Bad idea. After falling from his horse twice Friday, one of the hosts spent the weekend in an intensive-care unit with bleeding on his brain. Talk about a promotional stunt gone wrong.

''I'm banged up, bruised and dizzy,'' Harry Teinowitz said Monday. ''My short-term memory is shot, and I have a crappy week [of healing] ahead of me. But I consider myself lucky.''

The first time Teinowitz fell, he was still in the paddock. The guy who was helping him mount the horse noticed that he was a tad heftier than your average jockey and overcompensated, throwing him over the horse. Teinowitz landed flat on his face.

At that point he probably should have backed out of the stunt. Instead, he remounted and proceeded to race his radio partner John Jurkovic in a one-sixteenth-mile sprint. (Carmen DeFalco, the show's other host, had the good sense to decline the offer to race.) Teinowitz beat Jurkovic, but after crossing the finish line, he couldn't get his horse to slow down.

What happened to 'whoa'?
''I kept yelling, 'Stop, stop, stop,''' Teinowitz said. ''But he wasn't listening. Then he started going straight into a fence. I thought he was going to throw me onto Laramie Avenue, so I started to get off him. The next thing I remember, a medic was shining a light in my face. How dumb am I?''

Jurkovic, a former NFL player, didn't win the race but did manage to stay on his horse, thereby earning some bragging rights.

''I saw Harry on his back, moving his legs and arms, and I knew he was going to be fine,'' Jurkovic said. ''So I went up to him and gave him a 'Down goes Frazier!'''

Later Jurkovic said to Teinowitz: ''You kept yelling 'stop' [instead of 'whoa']. Did you think you were riding Mr. Ed?'' Teinowitz, the show's resident comedian, thought that was pretty funny.

Although he has spent a lot of time at racetracks during his life, Teinowitz never had ridden a racehorse before Friday. Now he's wondering what kind of dummies would allow two amateurs to race. And what kind of dummy would say yes.

''I've seen people ride donkeys and elephants,'' he said. ''I've seen monkeys ride dogs. But I've never seen amateurs riding horses. I said no the first 10 times they asked me. And then I finally said yes.''

Hawthorne promotion manager Dakota Shultz said this was the first time the track had used amateurs, and it ''probably will be the last time.''

''We're just very glad Harry is all right,'' Shultz said. ''We're relieved he's out of the hospital.''

So are Teinowitz's parents -- and his wife and two young kids.

''The doctors said a couple of inches either way, and I could have been a vegetable,'' Teinowitz said.

'Not mad at anyone'
ESPN 1000 program director Justin Craig was at the event and ran to Teinowitz after the fall.

''He looked at me and said, 'I got a show to do at 2,''' said Craig, who rode with Teinowitz in the ambulance. ''That's Harry. But my only concern was his well being.''

Needless to say, Teinowitz missed Friday's show, and doctors have told him to take it easy this week. He was resting at home Monday.

''I'm not mad at anyone,'' he said. ''I'm the one who got on the horse. I said no 10 times, and at the end I did what was best for the station. I love Chicago and ESPN and the Carey family. I love my wife and my family, and I put everything in peril for a radio stunt. It's nuts. What's next? Siegfried and Harry? Beehive tossing? Harry scales the Sears Tower?''

Teinowitz never saw the outriders who were supposed to be at the finish line to help slow his horse. They were there, Shultz said, but were giving Teinowitz's horse a wide berth.

'I feel so stupid'
Needless to say, the race ended on a more positive note for Jurkovic, who accepted the winner's trophy in his partner's absence. While Jurkovic called his racing experience ''exhilarating'' and said he'd consider doing it again, Teinowitz won't be getting back in a saddle anytime soon, if ever.

''I risked everything,'' he said. ''I feel so stupid. But I didn't break anything and I didn't die and I'm not in a vegetative state.''

Although Teinowitz signed a release form before the race, he says he signed the name Willie Shoemaker. I asked him if he was thinking about taking legal action.

''As of now, I'm not planning to,'' he said. ''But if I don't win the Hawthorne daily double soon, then I might consider it.''